She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
