I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
