Sponge bath it is.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize