I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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