So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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