Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
