I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
