adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
