I cockslap morals
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
not ubering you a puppy
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