Someone shit on the floor
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
