We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
