So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
