Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
