I'd wear matching sweaters with you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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