do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
