No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
