seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Michael Bay diarrhea
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
