Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize