Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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