why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
