I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
