flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize