I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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