i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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