Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize