So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
