I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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