I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize