i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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