Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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