White coat. Heels.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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