Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
