I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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