And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize