my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize