that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he thought i was a dude.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
