I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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