Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there's paper in my vomit.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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