I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Of course I have a pirate flag
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
