love makes seman taste better
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
