@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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