If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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