just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
