No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
