Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize