if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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