Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
