i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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