just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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