No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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