I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
