I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
