dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hippo gnu deer
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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