so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize
