I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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