All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize