Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
