he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
