she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
