I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
