i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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