I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Vodka?
Forever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
