You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize