I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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