Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize