Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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