textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
