so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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