He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's always time for handjobs
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
