at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
