thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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