just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
