Im at strip club and am horny
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
